I had mixed emotions last night as I prepared my lupron stash to be opened this morning. I decided I would blog about this cycle, and just not post until it's over. We're trying to do this under the radar...wouldn't it be nice to actually be like a normal person and be able to surprise our families with some wonderful news? That's been the thinking. Then...(there is always a but or then...) last night I read the consents from the Dr. Wow...I never even thought about this cycle not working. I didn't realize the statistics are so low. We had initially considered only transferring back 1 embryo. However, after reading the statistics, I think we should definitely consider two. I guess with work and a very active 1 year old, I haven't really given much thought to cycling again. We just picked a month and decided to go with it. We haven't really even discussed it. This morning, I remembered that I needed to start my lupron after I'd been awake for almost 30 minutes. Previously, I've set an alarm to make sure I did it at the same exact minute every day. My, how things change.
I guess I'm trying to be as un-invested in this as possible to guard my heart. Perhaps, the thought of having another baby scares me half to death. Perhaps, I trust with my full being that He will get us there and if Molly is the only child we are ever blessed enough to have, then she is enough.
This much I know...we will be OK. It would be so wonderful to give Molly a sibling, but if we can't, then, the three of us are enough.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
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