May - the month of Mothers

Today is May 1st. I wonder why April 1st is April Fools Day and no other 1st is a fools day. Hum...something for me to google.

I know a lot of us infertiles have a very difficult time with Mother's Day. I can't say that I don't think about what it'd be like to have this cute little one to snuggle with or a little toddler with R's (and my) curly hair, R's skin tone and my smile make me a card in Mother's Morning Out. I do. I actually even know what I'd like as a gift if I were to be celebrated next Sunday. (Has anyone seen these new Lollipop Gerbera Daisies???).

Even with that being said....Mother's Day really isn't all that hard for me. I have so many wonderful women in my life who are Mom's and who have had a tremendous impact on me, that it's easy for me to celebrate them.

My aunt is a 2 time survivor of breast cancer. She has had 2 mastectomies. She has the will of a warrior and the spirit of an angel.

My grandmother, though long passed, was this tremendous lady who was so loving and giving. She helped shape my childhood into the wonderful memories of happiness and laughter. To this day, sweet tea is not my drink of choice because no one's could ever be like hers.

Ronda - my best friend's mom (and my mom's best friend) suffers from MS and diabetes and a whole laundry list of other ailments. She lost her oldest daughter to Melanoma 4 years ago in August. She continues to grieve but gets up everyday and does the best she can. She spoils her grand kids and remembers Melissa with a love only a mother can know.

My Mother in Law, who drives me crazy, but I love all the same. She has this unwavering faith that I can't always understand, but long to have. She's learned to adjust to no longer being the only woman in her sons' lives and tries very hard to include my sister in law and me into her tight knit family.

My sister, who is my all time best friend, is a wonderful Mom to my niece. She sets boundaries and sticks to them, she keeps her active and social, she teaches her new things. Most of all, she is just like our mom! She is a compassionate, loyal and selfless friend, and she puts up with my crazy. What else is there to say?

Most of all, the woman in my life who has had the greatest impact on me is, of course, my Mom. Most often referred to as Mommy or Ol' Bren, she competes with my sister for the best friend slot in my life. She stayed home with us when we were little and Daddy worked long, hard hours as a bread man to ensure we had everything we needed and wanted. She tells me that if she went to the bathroom and locked the door, then I would lay on the floor and stick my fingers under the door and scream and cry. I remember she took a job at night at the local hospital once - on Friday and Saturday nights - and I would stay up - long after Daddy and my sister had gone to bed and cry because she wasn't home. I would call her and beg her to come home. Clearly, the job didn't last long. In middle school and high school, she was the mom everyone wanted to talk to about things they couldn't possibly ask their own mom's about. In college, she hated not knowing my new found friends and made the trek to Athens regularly so she could understand this new world and meet these new people. These days, she's still the first person I want to talk to in the mornings and the last person I normally talk to before bed. She still never goes to the bathroom alone and she's creating the same open relationship that shaped my life with my niece. If I am ever lucky enough to be a mother, my greatest ambition will be to mirror the relationship I've had with my mom with my own children.

So, in honor of Mother's Day, I honor the women in my life. All of the women in my life, not just the one's who are so blessed to be "Mom" to someone. During this time which might often get us down, I am going to choose to celebrate and believe that maybe, just maybe, next year I will get those Lollipop Gerberas.