WARNING. SERIOUS CASE OF THE MONDAYS.
Ugh. I went back to the office today. I don't think I've been in since....um...I don't know. I didn't go in more than maybe 3 times in February. Each time I did come in, my chair was missing from my desk. Today, someone was sitting in my seat. And, I basically had to make him move (he wanted me to go sit somewhere else). I mean, seriously? All my shit is here. Move your new to the company ass somewhere else.
It pissed me off.
Everyone keeps asking me where I've been. At home, mother fuckers. Mind your own business. I am not pregnant, again, for the 26th time in a row. Do you want all of the gory details? My ass is still sore from shots that we done in vain. I have the worst cramps of my life. I am bleeding so bad that I feel like I might need a transfusion. Do you want me to cry and tell you all of these extremely personal details? Oh, really, you do? Because we aren't even friends. I've been at home, asshole - now shut your face and go about your business.
Ah well, that made me feel better.
I might go to a prayer group tomorrow with someone I met at my REs office. If the time is OK permitting work and everything. Maybe it will help. I'm definitely more upset about this that I originally thought. Probably, because I had my niece from Thursday until yesterday and she makes me happy and kepy my heart and mind occupied. Wonder what my sister would think if I just stole her? TOTALLY NOT BEING SERIOUS. I haven't gotten so desperate to kidnap....yet.
12 comments:
I just want you to know that I'm so incredibly sorry for what you are going through. You have every right to be angry.
Be angry, it will help.
I'm unsure what I feel after my recent 4th loss but anger is a definite.....
I'm so sorry that it didn't work again, you've been in my thoughts.
xxxx
Raging at people at work is a good way to get rid of anger. Go for it. In fact...do whatever you want to feel better. You deserve it.
(*hugs*) People need to stop being so nosey. Be angry, yell, scream, punch a pillow. It helps a little, I think. Aggression needs released somehow, right? And there's a lot of aggression with a loss. It sucks.
Thinking of you.
Every little thing just magnifies the disappointment, at least for a while. It just makes sense to be sad and angry and frustrated - why wouldn't you be?
Infertility sucks. There's really no way around it. You can hope to learn something form the experience, blah blah blah - but in the end it just isn't fair.
Yup. Fuck `em. I'm raging with you.
Love, E
Your Mondays are forgiven. You're going through a lot and no one would expect you to feel like a bright ray of sunshine. I feel your anger for you as well. People are so incredibly nosy and after all that you're processing, I'm sure it's the last thing you want to put up with. Thinking of you... **HUGS**
It's so hard to go back to work after what you have been through and try to pretend like you are normal. I hate those nosy "where did you go on vacation" questions. I usually just say, "nowhere" which really confuses people. Hugs!
My answer to the question "where have you been?" would be "where you don't want to be". And then smile and turn away. They are not worth it.
Oh, tell that newbie seat-squatter to just get the he!! out of your way.
Thinking of you.
Yell, scream, push that newbie out of your chair! Do whatever it takes to take it 1 day at a time....I am sorry you have to deal with this hurt and pain (and stupid people). Thinking of you.
I'm sorry Tara, I hope the prayer group helped.
And I get it - I too have thought about stealing my niece ... does that make us bad people? Or just people with a lot of love ;-)
Big hugs sweety,
Polly
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