2008 - The real IF treatment begins

I feel this compulsive need to get this whole story off my chest. It'd just be way too long to be just 1 post. And, part of this story deserves her very own post. Maybe I will post twice tonight. I really want to get it out - like NOW!!!

Last night I ended my post with the beginning of 2008. We had an appointment scheduled with the RE and were hopeful we'd be that lucky couple that "WOW! We went to see a fertility specialist - and we were already pregnant!!" Yes, we know a couple that did that. They were convinced if we went for a 2nd opinion to that doctor, that magically, we'd get pregnant, too - just by making an appointment with her. WHATEVER. So, kept our appointment and went in on like the 8th or 9th. It was a Friday afternoon (R works nights, so, appointments are hard for him to make if at odd times during the day). We went and met with Dr. T. It was a little awkward - he's very mathematical - telling us all these percentages and "if this is the case, your chances would be x% - blah blah." It was a lot to take in. It just so happened to be the right day of my cycle to do some additional blood work that my OB hadn't completed. Ironically, they tested my FSH and Dr. T even said - "I am sure it's fine - you are so young for that to be the issue". We went on to discuss that we'd try the Clomid again and add IUI. This seemed harmless enough - and surely we'd be in the 33% who get pregnant within the first 3 cycles.

As I eluded to just a sentence ago, my FSH blood work came back the next day. The nurse called me and told me that my FSH was slightly elevated, which means that the quality or quantity of my eggs would be more limited than a "normal" 29 year old. What are the odds, huh? The conversation was a bit of a blur - I cried and the nurse told me not to worry - that we would figure this out and that IUI is a great option. OK - well, not so easy to just let that punch roll off your shoulder. My body had never failed me before - well - haha - for the last 12 months of my life, it had been - but not before that. Needless to say, I was pretty devastated and R was just trying to be as supportive as possible. We anxiously awaited my next period so we could try out this IUI business.

February came and so did my cycle. The devil Clomid entered the picture and Mrs. Hot Flash came back. I went in for an ultrasound and there they were - a couple of follicles! WOW! I peed on the ovulation sticks and called when I got 2 lines. We went in the next day. Dr. D (a new guy we'd never met) did the IUI. Then came the 2WW (2 week wait). We were full of hope.

The day of my beta, I went into the office after swinging by the DRs office. My nurse called me around 2:30 - all I remember is "I am really sorry". I cried at my desk and packed up my stuff and called it a day. I can't even remember that night - I am sure I drank a beer (or a bunch of them - if you know me, you know how much I enjoy a cold one). I know I cried a lot those first couple of days. It wasn't nearly the devastation we would face later. Our hope quickly renewed and we were ready to jump back on that horse. Bring on the hot flashes! The plan for the next cycle was to try Letrazole with IUI.