Seriously!

Seriously! I love this word. Maybe it is an expression or an exclamation. I don't know - I was not a lit major for a reason. I love to say seriously - it can really sum up about any situation. Seriously - can be a sympathetic remark that can mean - "I know that situation you just explained and I am here for you. I understand." It can mean, "Ugh! What an idiot!" or just be a pissed off exclamation that sums up a frustrated converstaion with the cable guy. Ha ha. Right now, I feel like screaming at the Fertility gods of this world and just saying, "SERIOUSLY!" (translation - how much more do I have to endure?).

I thought that as soon as I started and we got this cycle underway that I would have all this renewed Hope and Faith. Hope for this cycle and Faith that there is something bigger than this world that is looking out for me. Don't get me wrong, I still believe in God and I still know (DEEP down - really deep) that we'll have a baby one day - some how. I'm just having this full on depression day and just feel like shouting from the roof - SERIOUSLY!

On real news - I went in for my baseline today. I had an 11MM on the left, which is kind of concerning to me - but they said it was fine. There were 4 other follicles on the left (I think they are called antral?) and 6 on the right. Iwonder if the 11MM is left over from my last cycle? I don't know. I finally broke down and asked for something to help get me out of bed every morning and she gave me an RX for Zoloft. She assured me its fine to take while trying to get pregnant. I just don't know how much more I can take on my own. I feel like a wimp somehow - for giving in and asking for the RX. I hope it helps. They still haven't called me back with my bloodwork, but assuming my estrogen is low enough, I'll do my first follistim shot tonight.

**Update** The nurse just called and my estrogen is 54. We're good to start the injections tonight. Next appointment is Saturday at 7:55 AM.