Dear Embryo's - It's me, your Mom

Dear Embryo's -

It's me - your Mom. First, let me thank you for dividing last week. You are so beautiful and are already so loved by so many people. Thank you for cleaving and being so pretty.

Second, let me beg of you a few things.
Please be sticking in my womb - which I am trying very hard to make a wonderful environment for you. Your Dad is taking great pleasure is shooting progesterone oil in my ass every night for your comfort (not really - he wouldn't ever hurt me or you on purpose - and the shots don't really hurt! I'd do them all day everyday for the rest of my life if it meant I could keep you). I am not exercising - or even - GASP - playing the Wii - to try to motivate you to stick.
Please start making me vomit morning, noon and night.
Please let me know that you are sticking and that you will be my real live babies come this fall.

Also, Please forgive me for the small diet coke I had today. I promise to be a better mother than a caffeine drinking, chain smoking, junk food eating loser like the ones always on the 11 o'clock news. Forgive me for my momentary lapse in judgement. May the saccharine and caffeine only make you stronger!!!

Also, I promise not to always ask you to do things like I am in this first love letter to you. Nor, will I call my hiney an ass and tarnish your precious ears and mind. These are the things I promise to you from this letter on:

I will not be critical of your choices in life
I will be supportive of you
I will teach you how to be a loving human being and to respect our planet and all its beings
I will teach you to love and how to be loved
I will praise you for a job well done
I will correct you so that you can learn the difference between right and wrong
I will spoil you - but not to the detriment of your character
I will provide a safe environment for you to grow up in
I will make sure your siblings treat you kindly - even the furry ones :)
I will always buckle you in your car seat - with a few summer exceptions on the way to the pool
I will always be honest with you
I will protect you from as much as I can - but I will let go when the time is right and let you learn life lessons on your own
I will never try to insist you learn by my mistakes - we all need to make mistakes in this life
I will teach you the love of Jesus Christ
I will hold your hand until you want me to let go - but I will always be here to catch you if you fall
I will not let you sleep with me and your dad at night - but will definitely snuggle during nap time! Children and adults sleep better alone - and you will one day appreciate this
I will teach you the value of a dollar and of hard work
I will help you with your homework and college applications - but I will not just give you the answers

Most of all, I will love you with my entire being.

I cannot promise to never ask you to do anything, however, I will not make outrageous demands of you. This may be the most important thing I ever ask of you - Please - STICK BABIES STICK and let your Dad and me enjoy a lifetime of health and happiness with you!!!

All my love sweet little ones,
Mom